Loser, Loser, Buy My Dinner
A Rule About Last Place Punishments
In the NFL, you hear about how poorly rookies get treated by league veterans – kids backpacks, locking them out of the facility, etc. But, one of our favorite hazing shenanigans is when the newbies have to pick up the (usually very expensive) fancy steak dinner tab for those 350-lb lineman who have been in the league for 10+ years. This Rule is similar to that but instead of rookies picking up the tab, it’s the owner who took last place and instead of a fancy steak dinner, it’s more like McDonald’s. So maybe not all that similar really.
For those leagues where all the owners are located in close geographic proximity, you probably (hopefully) get together to kickoff the season on Draft Day. Well, you can think of this as post-season party of sorts. Just as the title sounds – the owner who finds themselves at the bottom of the rankings when the season is all over, accepts their punishment to buy dinner for all the owners that are clearly much better than them.
While the NFL’s version of this is typically a three-course steakhouse dinner, do not feel obligated to go this far in your league. Hell, it could be a dinner of Spaghetti-os and boxed wine for all we care. The point is really to shed a glaring light on how bad the last place owner was at fantasy football this year.
If you find yourself feeling sympathy for the poor sap who takes last place and feel weird about making them FORK out a PLATEFUL of DOUGH for a league dinner. You could supplement the last place owner’s contribution to the meal with a small dollar amount paid by all other participating owners – say $5 per person or something. In a 10-person league, that’s an extra $45 for the last place owner to use to pay the total bill and is a small price to pay for some good ol’ fashion ridicule.
Nuts and Bolts
- Generate league consensus on introducing this Last Place Punishment.
- Agree on the terms when, where, and how expensive the dinner will be. Clarity early on is key to reducing any future backlash.
- Decide if owners will contribute any portion to the total cost of the year-end prize.
- Do whatever you can to not take last place!
If it’s just too difficult to get all the owners in one place after the season is over, carry this punishment over into the new season and have the last place owner supply snacks and/or drinks for next year’s Draft Day Celebration.
Or call an audible and swap out “dinner” for “bar tab” or “keg” or “15-minute back massages” or whatever else.